My journey into the the world of love began in Auburn, Alabama on Valentine’s Day, 1962. What day could be better for a dating coach to be born?
At the age of three I told my mother I wanted to be a bride for Halloween. With three younger sisters there was an abundance of bridesmaids to play “Wedding Day” with. Usually the family dog could be coaxed into being the groom. “Matchmaking” became my “Monopoly” and the “The Newlywed Game” a fixation for learning about
couples in love in the form of a television game show.
Being raised in a strict Southern Baptist home, where my silver and china patterns were picked out at birth, I was taught that it was was important to bring home the right man. I learned from women who were Sunday school teachers and carpool drivers, who threw dinner parties and entertained their husband’s clients. In my family, there was no drinking or dancing and strict 10 p.m. curfews. Women in jeans were frowned upon — only dresses and pearls. Modesty was held up as the key virtue.
And while I do thank my parents for raising me with a certain set of positive values, I didn’t learn how to become a person who was secure in her own identity (without in relation to a man).
So, even as a young girl, I had my eyes set on finding “the one.” A strong “Southern Gentleman”…maybe a doctor just like my dad became the high standard expectation for me…by me.
Dating became serious in the 8th grade with a five year relationship with a 10th grader who went on to become a orthopedic surgeon. A long distance college romance went south, along with the restraints of growing up in a strict Southern Baptist household. Without actually dating, another relationship lasted two years, a four year college/post college boyfriend and the pressure was on… Liz was NOT going to be the last Kappa Delta down the wedding aisle.
In 1986, at the young age of 24 I married someone 10 years older than me. The marriage produced two great kids but lacked the quality, discipline and commitment a strong relationship needed to sustain a healthy foundation for a marriage.
In 2004, I filed for divorce…on the same day I met a gentleman also going through a Divorce. What divine intervention, it seemed. I thought, “I will not have to ever be single and suffer that cruel label that women in the south do not want to own.” I jumped into a marriage that was empty, lonely, lacked compassion and honesty. Bringing two children into a marriage proved to be a challenge, and being a stepmother was strained and difficult, especially with a
relocation to a new state and job.
I wanted out 24 hours into the marriage but hung in for the kids’ sake. Four years later and 35 lbs overweight, I was miserable. On my 50th birthday, I decided I could not live my life with someone I clearly did not like, much less love and it was time to move forward. I filed for my second divorce. It was utterly humiliating to go before a judge.
At the age of 50, you are dividing more than household items — you are dividing friendships. The journey became even harder when private lives became public with the advent of social media. Pressing the “unfriend” button, and saying goodbye to deep relationships was difficult. With the kids out of the house, and a second divorce under my belt, I felt truly alone.
Where could I turn? I couldn’t turn to married friends because they didn’t understand. And my single friends were dealing with their own challenges. But then everything changed, while on a work assignment in California I hired a Dating Coach. I broke a few hearts and a few broke mine, but I did the work on my inner self to gain the confidence and become the woman that could attract a man that had what I wanted, integrity, responsible, financially stable and most important a sense of humor.
It took 5 years, over 100 dates before I found the real and true “one.” In the fall of 2017 I became engaged to my wonderful fiance while on a romantic trip to Paris. What excites me the most is that I’ve found a man of integrity and purpose with whom I am now building a life. And you can too!
Today I coach men and women to learn how to be their best selves so they can create the life they want with that perfect soulmate.
I understand the pressures that are on women to “have it all” — to now be not just the “ideal” woman, partner, professional and community member. Meanwhile, Southern women are still trying to uphold the legacy of their mothers and grandmothers — to be the “perfect” Southern woman.
Friends, I’m here to tell you there is no “perfect.” But there is a beautiful place in in the middle, where we can live happy, productive lives — with the partner of our dreams.
My goal is to resource young women with the tools I wished I had — and with women and men later in life who are afraid they won’t find love again. The truth is: you will if you follow my playbook. The work begins from within, but you don’t need to walk through the dating world alone. I’m here for you!